I just posted a rewritten version of Naughty Pictures in the South Florida section. It's essentially the same story, but it now ties in with the South Florida stories.
Mondays are my day off and my writing day. I expect I'll be working most of them through Christmas. Don't expect a lot of updates from me until this mess is over.
Thanks again for mentioning Doberman Studio Collections animated movies. He/they have really been at it, with several dozen short stories involving hotwives and big black cock.
ReplyDeleteI read your great story The Bikini Conspiracy. I hope you're not offended by a bit of feedback :) I'm thinking of your parting remarks, and how you say it's one of your favorites. It really shows how early story this is, and some of the changes Kaos incorporates in the comics really enhance the story. Would be interested to know if she did that on her own, or with your input?
ReplyDeleteObviously you should add what you said you would add if you were to rewrite this in 2020. Here are a number of additional ideas:
- Sure, make them trick Linda into joining them. It would be great if she remains suspicious and reluctant, so there's active dialog acknowledging this ("why would we trick you?")
- make both men black, sure. Kaos already did that (maybe at your request?)
- add more embarrassment so we feel her paying a larger price for being forced into the revealing bikini. Maybe make the two men "bad cop good cop" her. One is crude and crass, directly talking about her large nipples or engorged pussy lips. The other "saves" her and is more "gentlemanly", telling the cruder one to lay it off.
- The crude man stares at her while she's nude in the ocean, despite promising not to. She protests, but also get turned on.
- Once she re-enters the boat in her see thru bikini even the gentleman has to concede "hot damn", making her feel mixed emotions: She's red as a beet, but also strangely exhilarated...
- slowly she warms up to the crude talk (or is it the alcohol?). Prolong the dialog so she can accept it in the end.
- The cruder man keeps making direct remarks "I see your beautiful pussy lips just like you were nude", and suddenly declares he can't hold his cock inside his trunks, and removes them. She objects, but there's nowhere to go. She can't stop staring.
- Would you mind? the gentleman asks "This is getting uncomfortable". She notes he doesn't wait for her reply, so she bravely says "no it's okay, I've seen penises before, but none this large". (Insert trademark Stormbringer "it's not a penis, it's a cock" here :)
- Mr Crass then unties her bikini top, and tosses it into the sea, but before she can get upset, he gives her coconut oil and tells her she needs protection. "Besides, we saw everything anyway".
- The gentleman quickly offers to massage it in, and the action can resume pretty much as written...
Cheers
So I'm on thePit's patreon and he says he is going to reboot his Coxville universe. I get his reasoning, he wants to take his work back from JohnPersons, who he said screwed him over. He released like 4 preview panels showing Jenny, Kitty and some of the guys.
ReplyDeleteI guess my question is,did you and thePit have a falling out? I read some of his replies to user comments and one reply I couldn't tell if it was a response to that user or a swipe at you. Plus I saw his new work was gonna be based on an as of yet unannounced author's story that he says we all will like. I'm assuming its gonna be Slutwriter since those 2 have been collaborating recently.
Any thoughts on the reboot? I mean I know its thePit so even if he does reboot it he will release a couple pics for it then start work on another new comic that will go unfinished like so many others
I just found out about a reboot myself. I couldn't figure out why he would reboot it, but if you're right about him taking it back from JP, then that makes perfect sense. No falling out that I'm aware of. The last we talked, he gave me permission to write up the Coxville story and use his Plantation comic. He commented how much he enjoyed Coxville Curse 1. Sometime later, while writing part 2, he dropped out and quit talking to me. He also quit talking with anyone. He used Hammertyme as a middle-man responding to comments on his patreon and twitter. I think someone else took over for Hammertyme since. I'm curious about the comment you mentioned and would like to read it, if you can find it again? I just chalked everything up to his mental health issues and always wished him the best.
DeleteI will try to screen shot the post and both of thePits responses. Im like you in regards to being happy he is trying to take his work back from JP, from what I understand JP did him(and many other artists) very wrong.
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